A boy fell in love with a married woman living upstairs. One day that lady came back from shopping. She was carrying a heavy bag in her hand. The lover boy immediately stepped forward and grabbed the bag from the woman's hand and said. "I carry your luggage upstairs."
When they reached the top floor, the lady smiled and said. "I can say for sure that you smoke."
Boy was not a smoker, but he thought in his heart that she wanted to take him home on the pretext of smoking, therefore, he said happily. "Yes, I smoke, but how did you know?"
Woman replied. "You were gasping while climbing the stairs. From that I assessed that you are definitely a smoker. Now go down the stairs slowly.”
The poster of the shoes shop was pasted on a wall for advertisement purpose. A few days later, someone put a poster of a private clinic on that poster. A few days later, due to rain, the poster above was exploded from place to place and the readers started seeing the text something like this.
"We make special repair to patients. Smallpox vaccines are given free of cost to shoes and patients are given a one-year guarantee to stay healthy."
Sugar
Some friends of a miser came home to meet him. Miser ordered his servant to make tea. So, the servant went to the kitchen to make tea. Miser made his friends sit in the drawing room and went into the kitchen and said to his servant. "Make tea without sugar by adding less milk and more water."
When the servant made tea according to the order of miser and served it to the guests, miser spoke. "There is no sugar in a cup. Tomorrow we will all be guests in the house of the friend who will get the sugar free cup."
All friends drank tea in silence. A friend even said that there is too much sugar in his cup.
Birthday Gift
The father of a little girl was judge. She asked her father affectionately. "Dad, what gift will you give me on my birthday?"
The judge, who at the time was busy writing the verdict of a case, said. "Fourteen years of rigorous imprisonment."
Dentist
A dentist said to his wife while mentioning one of his patients. "Bastard has not paid my fees for six months. Today I will definitely receive my money from him."
Saying this, the dentist went out. After some time, when he returned, his face was telling that he did not receive his money. Wife spoke. "It seems you didn't get your money."
Dentist replied. "That bastard didn't even give me money and also bit me, with my teeth."
Young Man
Some men and women were crossing the river by boat. Among them was a young man. When the boat reached the middle of the river, a woman's child fell into the river. Woman started shouting that for God's sake someone should save my child. Suddenly young man jumped into the river. After a lot of hard work and struggle, the young man rescued the child and brought him to the shore. Seeing this scene, people started clapping with joy. A man complimented the young man and said to him. "You are very brave, you risked your life to save the child."
Young man said, gritting his teeth in anger. "Do this nonsense later, first tell me who pushed me?"
Fire in House
One man to another man: "There is a fire in your house. Go home quickly."
Other man said calmly: "Don't joke, keys are in my pocket. Then how can there be a fire in the house?"
Intelligent Horse
A man told his friend. "I am very worried about my horse. It does very strange things. One day I was very ill. It was difficult to get out of bed due to severe weakness. My wife had gone to visit her parents with the children and there was no one in the house. Seeing my condition, my horse ran and brought the doctor on his back."
Said the friend in a jealous tone while praising the horse. "Your horse is very intelligent. I wish I had such a horse too."
Man spoke. "Hey, not so smart, horse brought the doctor of animals on his back."
Girls are like fruits.
Girls are like fruits.
Some girls are as sweet as a mango.
Some girls are as tall as a banana tree.
Some girls are as red as an apple.
Some girls are as juicy as a strawberry.
Some girls are as hot as a papaya.
Some girls are as sweet and sour as an orange.
Some girls are as delicious as a guava.
Some girls are as tasty as a grape.
Problem is with boys, who like all fruits.
Girlfriend
A boy went to interview for a job at a railway station. The officer asked him. "If two trains are coming on the same track, what will you do?"
"I will change the fork. "Boy replied.
Officer asked again. "What will you do if the fork is damaged?"
Boy replied. "I will stand on the track and wave the red cloth."
Officer asked again. "Suppose driver is not looking at the red cloth."
"I will shout at the passengers to pull the chain.” Boy replied.
Officer asked again. "Suppose all the passengers are deaf, they are not listening to you."
Boy said. "Then I will bring my girlfriend."
"Is your girlfriend that powerful?" Officer asked in surprise.
Boy replied. "It's not like that, sir! actually, she is very fond of watching trains collide."
Where is he?
A crying child said to his grandmother. "Grandma, I have been beaten by Harry."
Grandmother said angrily. "Where is he, I'll chew him raw?"
Child said innocently. "Grandma, you don't have teeth in your mouth."
God and Doctor
Grandfather explaining to his grandson and said: "Son, we should never offend the God and the doctor."
Grandson: "But why?"
Grandfather: "If God gets angry, he sends us to the doctor, and if the doctor gets angry, he sends us to God."
Scream
A stranger entered into a clothing store. The shopkeeper was showing different types of shirts to a woman. Suddenly the woman screamed. Hearing the scream, the stranger ran away in scared and was caught by two constables on patrol. After the arrest, it is known that he is a habitual offender and a looter.
The shopkeeper looked at the woman with a grateful eyes and said. "Thank you very much, lady! Because of you, I was saved from robber today. But how did you know that he was a robber?"
"I didn't know he was a robber?" Woman said angrily. "My scream came out when you told price of the shirt."
Stitches
Patient to Doctor: "Do you know how to apply stitches."
Doctor said: "Yes"
The patient said, holding out his shoe to the doctor: "Stitch up my slipper."
Right Hand
A criminal said to the judge as he heard the sentence for theft. "Sir, it has been proved that my right hand committed the theft, but where is the justice that you are imprisoning my whole body?"
The judge said with a smile. "Ok, your right hand will remain in prison. If you want, you can leave your right hand in prison."
The criminal also smiled. He removed his wooden hand and placed it on the judge's table and left.
Suicide
One madman said to another madman. "I'm so fed up with life. I want to kill myself."
The second madman spoke in a persuasive manner. "Don't do that my friend, life is very beautiful and suicide is forbidden, it is cowardice, it is madness. It is better that a man should shoot himself than such a death.”
Eyesight
A madman was sitting worried. The other madman asked him in a sympathetic tone. "What happened, brother? You look a little worried."
First madman spoke in a sad tone. "Brother, my eyesight is getting weak, I am thinking of getting glasses."
Second madman spoke. "Brother, no need to worry and no need to wear glasses too. You should start eating grass from today. After a few days your eyesight will be sharp."
The first madman stared at the other madman and spoke. "You mean, now I should start eating grass like horses. Which fool told you this treatment?"
Second madman spoke. "Horses eat grass and I have never seen any horse wear glasses till date."
The first madman was very happy to hear this. He said to the second madman. "Yes brother, you are sayingthe right thing. Really this treatment is very easy."
Born
Son: "Mom where were you born"?
Mother: "In Los Angeles."
Son: "Where was my father born?"
Mother: "In Chicago."
Son: "Where was I born?"
Mother: "In New York."
Son: "Then I don't understand how we got together."
5 KG Gold
A man got into a taxi. He had a cardboard box. His destination was another city 1000 kilometers away from this city. On the way, the man took out his mobile phone and started talking to his girlfriend. “Darling, I am leaving my wife and coming to you forever.”
Then after hearing something from the other side, he spoke. "Yes, yes, I am stealing my wife's 5 kg gold and bringing it with me.”
Then after hearing something again from the other side, he spoke. "Don't worry. All the gold is in a cardboard box. No one will know.”
Anyhow, the taxi reached the destination after covering a distance of a thousand kilometers. As soon as the car entered the city, the man asked the driver to stop the car at one place. So, the driver applied the brakes. Then he said to the driver. “Wait a minute, I'm going to get cigarettes.”
Saying this, he left the cardboard box on the seat and went to get cigarettes. On the way, the taxi driver had heard the conversation of this man. So, he knew that 5kg of gold was lying in a cardboard box on the back seat. This was the best chance to get 5 kg gold and he didn't want to miss this chance. So, he immediately made his way back.
The way back was very pleasant for him. He was considering himself a very rich man and thinking that he would never have to drive a taxi again.
So, he quickly opened the box as soon as he got back. But the box was empty. "Oh shit," said the driver, slapping his forehead. “The man did all this drama to save the taxi fare.”
Wrestler
A man was traveling in a train with his family. During the journey, this man had a fight with a wrestler. Wrestler slapped the man hard on the cheek. Man gritted his teeth and spoke. “I don't care about your slap, but if you beat my brother, I will break your bones.”
Wrestler delivered a powerful punch to the man's brother’s face. Seeing this, the man angrily pointed his finger at the wrestler and said. “If you beat my son, then I will pick you up and throw you out of the train.”
The wrestler also slapped the man's son. Now again this man said to the wrestler in an angry tone. "If you beat my wife, I will break your teeth."
Wrestler grabbed the man's wife and threw her down from the seat. Now the man sat quietly on the seat. After a while, their station arrived.
When the man got down at the station with his family, another man said to him. “Brother, if you could not fight the wrestler, then why did you tease him again and again? Matter could have ended on your slap, but because of your stupidity he beat up the whole family.”
Man said, "Brother, you won't understand. If I had been beaten alone, my whole family would make fun of me after reaching home.
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